Posted On: December 13, 2015 | Time: 11:35 pm | no comments

I had wished all my life I had never been born

I hated myself, I wanted to die

every breathe was misery

sheeer agony.


“Why?!!”How could they do that to me she said? ” I don’t know, I answered.

no one knew; I hid it well

their sickness.

survive! thrive! fight!

doing it

doing it

and doing it well….



well….with a mask on my face

it only had 3 emotions it always smiles.

they slammed it hard on my face one day

really hard

I could barely breathe.


“that dumb bitch will never get out!!”, they said as they laughed

” we’ll see about that you evil whores”, I thought to myself.

I was young I didn’t care about karma

“oh no! they took everything!”, she said

” I know”, I said


I was dead though

just dead

the plastic on the mask became weathered

worn beat down it’s surface crackled and bumpy

” I guess it wasn’t their best work”, I thought

overtime it started slipping


out of no where one day I heard a loud crack one day

it had cracked and then crumbled


“holy fuck! Someone! Anyone! Please help me out!”

“please put this shit back on!”

all of my shit is falling out!!!!!! I screamed

and then it did

and it did

and it did and did

and it did

and it did

and it did

and it did

and it did

and it did and it did

and it did

and it did and it did

and it did

and did and did and did and did and did and did


no one knew where it came from , they got scared

so they left me alone


then I was alone!




alone alone


the silence

the horror


New Year’s


three birthdays


alone alone

every minute it was a slow slow slow stab and

burn and it hurt

my bones

my hair

everything can’t speak


“whose fault is this ?”, they said

“him over there!!!!”

“asshole we will kill you!” , they said

“look it’s him over there! Asshole we will kill you!!, they said

“how dare you take this cunt’s mask off?!!!!,

their eyes scared me.


who was the good guy? Who was the bad guy?

I had forgotten, I was lost.

truth is: I was the asshole

they didn’t know

he was her excuse


relief at last!

“FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, someone screamed loudly

“who was that? “, I thought

I didn’t know

but she sounded familar


I fought like hell , I healed, I cried

I felt 99 billion emotions

I healed I cried

I prayed I counted every thought

everyday for days

700 or more maybe 900

I lost count


“what a reunion!, she said

“I was always here with you”, she laughed, happy to see me too

we are together now.

she saved me.

I saved myself.




Alexis Serrano

July 2015





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